This year I set big goals for myself. Important necessary things. Taking care of my home and family better. Redeveloping my spiritual discipline. Taking charge of my physical health and building strength and reserves so I don't spend another year sick. Learning to homeschool.
Slowly and surely I am building strength, building reserves, learning, growing, being humiliated and humbled...
I expect too much and overestimate what I can accomplish and am hard on myself when I don't meet my own expectations.
Surrender. Letting God have his way in my life. Getting a phone call of encouragement at the point of breakdown (thank you, friends, who have held me up, encouraged and supported me...you are my Ebeneezers-stones of help that God is using to build a new foundation in my life), prayers, unusual wake up calls to bike or spend some quiet time with Jesus. This journey is overwhelming me... And yet, I am not overwhelmed. Despite my best efforts to sabotage my own life I am being sustained and moving towards the goals He has for me.
It is a joy to learn to delight myself in the Lord all over again. To learn to be interdependent with His people again. To discover that God is making something beautiful out of the shards of my life.